Feeling Bursts

After this year of purposely ignoring parts of what is otherwise known as my emotions, they have burst into prominence again, with such strength and freshness that heark back to my teenage years. Do emotions gain in strength when held in abeyance? A peculiar notion, as though the impeti were stored up until released. Rather, I suspect, the decline in satisfaction of a particular impeti merely means than upon its satisfaction the feeling is as intense as when it was new-minted. This bears back to the relationship the impeti possess with time. They cannot simply be fulfilled once and be complete, but require constant fulfilment over time. This means that a way of living, a form of life, that the impeti encounter as satisfying acquires an instrinsic value. We can thus hypothesise that iStructure seeks patterns of satisfaction of the other impei. This manifests itself as empithym, a replacement for the outdated term 'concept' which allows for the binding together of the experience of objects in spatial terms and their relation to the impeti. Since iPurpose cannot be fulfilled by a particular goal but must rather be constantly fulfilled, the ultimate satisfier of iPurpose is therefore a particular form a life, a way of encountering the world.

I thus seek a particular form of life with sufficient authority and sufficient similarity to the self. This, as I have already said, must be derived from the reflexive awareness to have universal sufficiency. To do this, I require a more satisfactory definition of what the reflexive awareness is than I have previously used, as the 'spiralling to infinity' device lacks precision.

The sense information of our first meeting with the world and its effects upon the impeti are logged, and that log impacts upon the way we continue to encounter the world. If we have previously encountered an object as satisfying, in our next encounter with that object will be an inclination to achieve the same satisfaction from that object again. However, this relation presents a problem: When does it happen? The satisfaction of the impeti is bound to time. However, satisfaction does not produce inclination. Only awareness of an object as being satisfying can do that. There is one impeti that is expressly satisfied without an object as a determinant: iStructure. This impels the investigation of the sensed world, and is satisfied by that investigation. However, alongside that investigation other impeti are or are not satisfied as particular objects are encountered and acted upon. This does not produce an inclination towards them, however, as that inclination can only be produced by an empithym of a particular object as being satisfying.

This is because an inclination requires something that is preserved over time. Satisfaction levels are not. This means that if iStructure leads the self to encounter an object that is satisfying, the self is equally likely to engage more with it as to dissassociate with it. Thus, when empithym are produced from a particular impeti, the impeti inclines the self towards the repetition of the circumstances of the formation of that empithym.

This is where it gets tricky. More on this soon. I shall endeavour to continue with a proper definition of the reflexive consciousness, and try not to use the word 'satisfaction' quite as much.